Friday, January 7, 2011
I've never had a period of time, since I became a mother, where I didn't have one child at home with me 24 hours a day. At least one child was homeschooled at all times. Wednesday, this all changes. Our middle daughter starts college and the rest are either adults or in school (or both). For the first time, I will have time to focus and concentrate on anything at all.
I'm nervous for the change, yet excited. We raised our kids to be self-sufficient and responsible, so there's absolutely no fear. Well, none, that is, except for me. Do I know how to be an adult? One who is not somehow mothering (or smothering, as the kids might like to call it)?
In my mind, I see a few things. First of all, I know I do want to be home when the kids get home from school and my husband appreciates me and a hot meal when he comes home, too, and I like to spend as much time as possible with him before he deploys. So, what I really see, is five hours a day that are mine to organize and manage. I can choose to relax or I can choose to be productive.
I'm a doer; I choose production.
From the previous posts, you know I'll be spending five minutes a day on paperwork. I like to clean alone, with loud music, and deeply. There goes a half hour. I think of it as exercise, but that's not quite enough, is it? Another half hour to exercising at the gym or home, at least a few of the days. A half hour to get there and and back and to lose on stupid stuff that always seems to come up.
Wow. Where does time go when you aren't being productive?
But the truth of the matter is, when you feel good about your surroundings (a clean and well organized home), your relationship life is in order (being consistent at the end of the kids' and hubby's day), and you FEEL good (and exercising not only helps you look great, have energy, and helps maintain your health, it's actually a GREAT "anti-depressant")-you'll end up with better work in two or three hours than you would in eight without all the feel good stuff.
Yep, season's change, but I can change right along with it, and somehow, come out better than ever.